Delighting in Hospitality

Growing up, there were always certain houses my friends and I would hang out at depending on the friend group. These were the houses where it just felt easy to hang out because their parents were warm and welcoming hosts that delighted in having anyone and everyone there. These were the parents who always made us feel welcome around the dinner table and ready to open their home at any moment to a group of rambunctious teenagers, a plate of freshly-baked cookies in-hand. Their homes were always clean and ready for guests, they engaged with us as if we mattered and weren’t just some random kids passing through, and they genuinely enjoyed opening up their homes. It wasn’t until I was living on my own that I realized what a gift it is to host others and how easy my friends’ parents made it seem.

When I first started living in an apartment, I couldn’t wait to give hosting a try and to have my own snacks to prepare and my own decorations to use. My first event was a “Galantine’s Day” dinner party with my 4 other roommates at the time. I think dinner was served an hour late and I had enough to feed a small village. I spent wayyyyy too much on decor and I wanted everything to be perfect, so I wouldn’t let anyone help. It ended up being such a fun night, but at what cost?? I remember thinking I wasn’t cut out for being a hostess.

I think we can all relate to that feeling of having unrealistic expectations for gatherings and doing the last-minute toilet scrub 2.5 minutes before people show up at the door. Why is it that we want our homes to appear perfect and that we want to feel so put together with a “Pinterest-worthy” spread, when, really, we’re stressing over the wrong things? Isn’t there more to hosting than striving for perfection? First, let’s explore why hospitality matters.

Why Does Hospitality Matter?

Hospitality is the act of opening up our homes and hosting guests. Guests may range from close family to friends- old and new- or even strangers. It encompasses entertaining, serving, and sharing into one setting. Whether the setting is in our own home gathered around the table or inviting someone out to get coffee, hospitality matters.

Community is vital, not only for building fellowship within the body of believers, but building God’s Kingdom as well. Acts 2 talks about the early church and how, despite their persecution, they did life together:

“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” -Acts 2:42-47

Not only did their fellowship build God’s Kingdom, as verse 47 points out, but it also provided them strength to press towards Christ and their mission to spread the Good News, despite the terrible persecution the early church faced. I think that in the present state of our world, we require this same fellowship to keep us on the path that leads us back to Him.

Additionally, In Matthew 18:20, Jesus says, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” When we gather with others, we are surrounded by the Holy Spirit and can open up an opportunity to be a light for them and to lead them to Christ. We can also build our own faith from hearing others stories. Whether our guests are already believers or not, we are able to display the Glory and the Goodness of God in His provisions through hosting.

From my experience, there is no better way to get to know people than over the dinner table. Food allows us to get comfortable and to bond– whether over a nostalgic meal of comfort foods or making pizzas or grilling out together- gathering over a meal makes for, at the very least, a conversation starter. This conversation that occurs at the dinner table is an opportunity to plant a seed.

When we open our home, it is a golden opportunity to be gracious to our guests and maybe even get a chance to share the gospel and how God is working in our lives.

How does Jesus call us to Hospitality?

Luke 10:38-42 gives us insight to how Jesus views the issue at the home of Mary and Martha:

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Wow. I am so guilty of “being a Martha.” I struggle with being worried about the preparations and making sure everything is “perfect” and complaining to Trevor for him to help me out with cleaning and cooking, but Jesus clearly points out that, “Mary has chosen what is better…” She has chosen Jesus. She has chosen to delight in the presence of the LORD, rather than to get worked up, as Martha did, in making everything perfect for Him. Jesus doesn’t need a fancy spread or the crumbs vacuumed obsessively until guests arrive. He wants us. He wants our hearts to be present and delighting in whoever He sends through our door.

Ideas for Becoming a More Gracious Host

I am definitely very guilty of focusing on perfection over being present, but it is important to me and to Trevor that we always have a home that is ready to be open at any moment and that we pursue a “revolving door” approach to hosting. These are a few ideas that I am working on to improve in being a gracious host, and if you are anything like me, maybe we can improve together 🙂

1.) Maintain a regular cleaning schedule– pick one particular day of the week that you can use as your cleaning day. I tend to aim for Thursdays as it is before the weekend when we do the majority of our hosting, but sometimes I throw in Mondays as well to tidy up after the weekend. This allows us to stay on top of the messes and to avoid the last-minute scrub downs before people come over.

2.) Keep extra stock in the freezer– when baking or making crockpot meal, consider make a little extra to keep in the freezer. An extra loaf of banana bread or cookie dough or even leftover soup from the crockpot are all easy things to thaw and reheat when you are in a pinch for time.

3.) It doesn’t have to be a perfect meal– I literally burnt our meal two nights ago when we had friends coming over and I sat on the couch in defeat. Trevor came home about 5 minutes before our friends got there, looked at our burnt sliders, looked at me pouting on the couch, and cut the tops of the buns off to salvage the meal. It was a very ugly dinner, but tasted okay, and we focused on the guests at our table instead of the less-than-perfect chicken sliders on our plates.

4.) It doesn’t have to be a fancy meal either– Sometimes people want an easy comfort food, something they wouldn’t normally make for themselves, and you can be the person that makes that happen. Don’t feel like you have to spend 4+ hours slaving over homemade sweet potato gnocchi (one of my fave meals, but very involved), when you could make everyone just as happy sharing Hamburger Helper or Instant Pot Mac & Cheese.

5.) Focus on WHO– Like Jesus pointed out to Martha, it is more important to focus on who we’re sharing our home with than what we’re serving.

More Resources for Hospitality

See the links below for some of my favorite resources for gatherings and, as always, please share your ideas and tips for all things gathering/hosting/hospitality related, especially as the holiday season approaches!

Thanks for reading and remember to connect with us!