Ugh, Hillsong Worship gets me every time, you guys. If you haven’t heard the song, “New Wine”, stop what you’re doing and go listen… I’ll get back to this in a minute, I promise.
For those of you who don’t already know, more transitions are headed our way. We are moving to South Korea with the Air Force in about a month. I have been done working for a few weeks now in order to go home to meet my new niece, Maggie Ann, and to spend some quality time with my family before we leave. Since my return to Tucson, I feel like I am in a weird phase of life, one that I am blessed to be in, but definitely different from anything I’ve experienced before.
Growing up, I always had some type of job or work and now, I am taking a self-proclaimed “sabbatical” from my nursing career and I’m not entirely sure what I will be doing for work while we are overseas, which makes for A LOT of free time. Time to explore things I’m passionate about and time to build relationships, but also time to serve the LORD better. I still want to keep my nursing skills up, but for right now and during our time in South Korea, I don’t know if that’s where God is calling me to serve.
I’m honestly not sure where God wants me right now, but this time around (see Reliant post for details on my last move), I know that I will have Trevor supporting me in our move and in our travel and we will be together through it all this time. Most importantly, I have a firm foundation to stand on in my relationship with God. I trust Him wholeheartedly and know that He can get me through any situation. Even though this move may seem like a much greater scale, I feel much more equipped to handle it (I’ll let you know if I have a mental breakdown on our way out of the country lol). So where to go from here?
I know of a few other military spouses that have struggled with these transitions and these same questions. Our husbands are instantly connected with a community when we move. However, for the wives, it’s a bit of an identity crisis: the process of starting over, building new relationships, finding a new church, a new community to rely on when families are so far away, and, for many, starting a new career. I have talked with a few other wives that have felt like they are “purposeless” and just following their husband around as they work on their careers. However, the reality is that our identity should not be tied to our career or to our husband’s career. Our purpose on this earth is to serve God and seek Him above all else. Our identity should be rooted in this knowledge and in the love God provides for us. In this transition, I have been blessed with time to find what I’m passionate about, but more importantly than what I want, what does God want? Where is God calling me to serve Him?
While my younger sister, Chloe, was in town visiting, she joined us at church and we sang “New Wine” during worship. I didn’t think twice about it, but later, Chloe mentioned that she really liked it and she added it to a playlist that we share. It wasn’t until a few weeks later, when I heard the song again, that it really spoke to me and my current situation and I hope it speaks to you as well.
This song took the thoughts weighing on my heart and gave me a prayer to cry out to Jesus. The LORD is so good. He has given us so much to be thankful for and to prepare us for whatever transition we are facing. Right now, He is “breaking new ground” in my life and giving me an opportunity to surrender completely to Him and His plans for me. Maybe He is doing the same for you. Whatever you are struggling with, be it finding passion, coming to terms with an identity crisis, or understanding that God is your sole purpose in this life, I know wherever He takes us in this journey, He will be with us and carrying us through it all.
LORD, I pray to You that wherever You are calling me to serve, You will be with me and guiding me. I pray that You would change my heart so that I may glorify You and fulfill Your will, instead of my own. Make me whatever You are calling me to be and make me a vessel of Your love so that others may see Your greatness and trust in Your perfect plans. Thank You for working in my life and for blessing me immensely. Amen.
